Here Are My Two Pennies

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 05:07:17 GMT

SO it looks like I'll either be getting a Kia Rio or an eclipse either way i'll be happy i like them both, i'll be kinda screwed when it comes to moving if i have an eclipse but i'm pretty sure i'm willing to figure a way out to get all my stuff to pcola in that tiny car. but it's exciting because my dad is actually letting me pick, so thats cool. lets see today got kinda a lot of things done, stopped by work, i'm working a promo on saturday so yay lot's of money!!! umm what else went to borders TWICE walgreens got my nails done and went to the place with my car there and cleared it out. OH and i got a rental car. it's a good car it's a rio thats what made me decide i wanted one because it is a cute car and fun to drive. hmmm what else i did awsome not snacking today GO ME!
hopefully knowing that i have to be in a bikini on saturday in front of people will keep motivating me to not be a fat ass and to drag myself to the tanning bed which i again skipped, man i use to be religous about getting to the tanning bed now i'm like eh i can be a ghost

It's Almost the End and Then I Will Pick Up where i left off

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 06:02:48 GMT

So it's almost the end of summer, about 10 days till i go home to tampa then i'll stay until it's time to go back to pcola
I promise i won't slack on this thing anymore

Ok so today was prob about the climax of the summer not so much in the since of an orgasim where it's the best part, but in the literary sense where it is the turning point of the story where everything is clear and the ending is apperent and everything is about to be resolved. well here is how the second to last chapter in the summer goes
I wake up this morning like all the past mornings i have where the night before was full of yelling and anger but yet still spent the same way asleep together, so i woke up peaceful but groggy still not wanting to get up, but i go and i go to class, i come bacj and nap as i always do, then i go and try to get rid of some clothes that i don't want any more, it was storming i shouldve seen the oh so clear for shadowing, so then i go back home get a bit to eat and start off to get my nails done, it all came to a crashing hault. literly. and my car was totaled i've never been in such a bad accident. thank god it was not my fault.
the rest of this day is spent taking care of the necessary things getting it towed spending 6 hours in the er just to find out that nothing is wrong. but then it happens again the normal evening spat between he and i. but this one is different, this one has been leading up. and it was quick and quiet and it ended it for real.
i could be very philisophical when i say that when i was carrying up the stairs that huge heavy tv that it was symbolic for me carrying the weight that this summer has put on my shoulders. but lol why would i want to sound so corny i already have enough of that as it is.
so now as the night ends it will be the first in the summer i sleep alone. thats what this town reminds me of being alone, i hate it.
but in 15 days i will be back in pcola with my friends
oh crap that means i only have like 20 days to get my ass back into shape for cheerleading. ECK not good lol they won't wanna lift my fat ass when they see how many trips to cc's pizza i've taken this summer. oh well i can do it i always have
hmmmm so i get a new car, thanks to my old on being totaled i guess it was about as good of time as ever
i mean i had a cracked windshield and a busted back light that my parents didn't know about.
i wonder what kinda car i will get i know it won't be great but comeon it can only get better from what i had (not that i didn't love you mr. clunker RIP we did have some good times)
hmmmm what else i'm so bored now
i'm very sad i only have 640 in my checking and savings, i need to work, in fact i was suppose to tonight but i couldn't because duh my car was crashed. stupid brandon was playing 20 questions on the phone while i was still all upset

now i'm bored i might be back to write more but it's time for family guy and i have to wake up early to get the rental car. UGH i forgot what a headache this is gonna be blehhh

Thu, 30 Jun 2005 05:34:43 GMT

SO i've decided to start writtin in this thing again seein that i have a bunch of free time now. WELL i have a new obsession. . .SOUTH BEACH DIET!!!
it's time to get slim for when fall comes around. so tomorow i will be goin to the grocery store and stockin up on chicken and all the stuff on my list, i'll be in phase one for two weeks which means no beer and no sugar and absolutly NO CARBS!!!! so juliana was on this diet when she lost all her weight so i figure i will give it a shot after all i like chicken and eggs and that pretty much what i get to each from now on.
tomorrow will be my power packed day
class
gym
groceries
then an early movie!! oh man just realised no popcorn how sad better eat before i go!!!
oh i gotta go to the bank some where in there!

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 05:25:37 GMT

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 17:20:31 GMT

i love this comic strip to death it's the BEST!! and i'm obsessed it's Mows.com!

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 05:17:41 GMT

so spring break as now come to an end and i think it was a pretty OK one, not too exciting but still non the less it was ok.
it started with a trip to the beach and baseball game with sabrina then to tally for my bday celebration where i got myself drunk and matt saw the abilities of a small girl that opens a tab with the entent to get drunk off her ass. and thats what i did.
the sunday i drove home to tampa. where i spent up till friday at it was ok just chillin at home and goin to the macdill gym and havin lunch with my parents and gettin my pic taken in my uniform.
then friday i left for orlando!!!
met up with karen went to the tri delt house for dinner
then over to her bf's frat house to meet some peoples
then went to her place and watched a movie
then went to her bf place to get drunk
which we did

then i woke up we went to her place and i was suppose to run a marathon but i couldnt i was too hung over so i went to sleep

then she came back and she had to leave for plant city and i still couldn't drive sooooo
i made a call it went like this

"brian what are you doing"
"sleeping"
"can i join you?"
"umm ok"

then i went to gar and bri's apt and slept
it was a three way cuddle session best nap of my life
~*thanks boys*~
then we went over to billys
then went to outback
then went their show!!
they were playin at adobe gilas in orland duh. . .but it was fun met a lot of cool people
money matt. . .you are an ash-hole
billy you owe me a song about melted kisses

so that night was awesome
then this morning (sunday easter)
garrett and i went to church
we were a little married couple (so it felt like) because we went to church together then we went and bought milk
then i left for home at 1230
i got home at 930
it sucked
i went the wrong way for about 15 mintues
then had to turn around
figures
JT is going to buy me a map

now i'm home (my dorm in pcola) and i have class tomorow
i think i will have to hit up the tanning bed again this month because the rain followed me everywhere i went this spring break and i am still pale (minus the tiny sun i got from last friday)

A CRAZY DAY!!!!

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 08:29:01 GMT

so i had a long ass day and it was a slow start because i was up just as late last night as i am tonight.
so i woke up got ready went to the gym on base then saw my dad then ran home got my cheerleading gear then headed to get my pics taken then met up with my mom then went to dinner with erika

ok now for details

so i love the gym on base and i would just like to say that people who live near or work near it have NO excuse to be fat because it is super nice and i'm looking forward to going back tomorow. plus the view ain't that bad of all the military men workin out (except the old ones lol)

then met up with my dad but he didn't have much time so we just got a candy bar healthy eatin!!

then ran home to shave my legs and get my uniform and poms and all that ish

then went to get my pics taken you know your parents but think you are something decent looking when they buy 480 dollars worth of pictures of you just in a cheerleading uniform, however they did get one with me in jeans and a tank top. but still i was like oh wow

then went to steak and shake and met up with erika for the first time in likea year and half actually i don't know how long it's been but anyways. it was weird at first and i really hated when it got silent so i would try to find something to talk about and soon enough it was just like old times. it's hard to think that we could've been friends all this time if both of us weren't so darn stuborn but thats all water under the brigde now and i couldn't be happier.

um then i came home and started watching bits of the incredibles so that was fun then retired to my room because i planned to go to sleep early but obviously that just isn't going to happen. seeing that is 330 actually this thing says it's only 215 but that because my computer is on pensacola time and it is 15 minutes behind.

oh so in recent news, i just stumbled apon caca head jasons myspace and how pathetic is this in his ABOUT ME section he insults me and uses my full name, he does it like 3 times he's like "i'm forgiving (unlike Christine salathe) i won't use you (unlike Christine salathe)" like how GAY is that i was mad i messaged him saying he was very immature and needed to take my name off his page and i think he has a naked pic of himself on his page which is very icky bleh

so that was crazy

OH also super cool is trace adkins will be at best buy tomorow signing cds!! this will be my first cd i've bought in like years but only because the chance to meet someone famous anyone else would've fallen pry to internet piratecy by illegal downloading. see if every singer did this i would buy mre cds. however trace adkins will be the one to get my money. i wish erika could go with me i plan on trying to get a picture because i'm lame like that and hope he will fall in love with me at first sight and take me away to be his country star wife and buy me a big house with a nice gym :) and yes ju i know he's super old lol

ok gonna try to hit the hay now because if i plan on making it to my spinning class i need some energy!!

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 07:36:20 GMT

heres part of my home sweet home dorm room!!!

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 07:33:04 GMT

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 07:24:48 GMT

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 07:04:23 GMT

poor live journal ive been neglecting you so much and not because i've been busy because i definitly haven't been

today i slept till 3 in the afternoon woke up waited till my sis had left then went and got a piece of bday cake, and right as i was done gettin it she came home so i went back in my room to finish reading my book
then she left again and i got up and did some dishes that i noticed have been in the sink for a while (obviously not on anyones priority list) then right when i finished that she came back home so i went to my room then my mom came home then when my dad came home i left my room and we ate dinner then i watched tv then some more tv then i watched the notebook
and now here i am
bored
off my ass

wow so just made dinner plans with erika

tmorow i am wakin up and goin to the gym at macdill then havin lunch with the pops then goin to get a trim and then gettin my picture taken in my uniform

blehhh so bored debating weither or not to go get some cake and ice cream. . .hmmm think i will

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 08:33:17 GMT

so an apology for neglecting live journal lately, i've been obsessed with myspace. (hey i finially get something fun since facebook doesn't have my school on it!) so yeah i've been having fun with that i started a group for gcc peoples so go me! what else oh so i've been home and it's been miserable

only because my sister is here, if she weren't here things would be great, she's even causing my parents to argue with each other and that hurts me alot because they never fight. well anyways so toay my mom took me shopping it was fun until we went and picked up my sister then of course she was a bitch but oh well don't really wanna talk about that
so we finially did the bday cake thing only about 3 days late or so. oh well it was really good it was carrot cake one of my all time favorites so i was happy. i'm also happy because my mom told me that she would take me to sams club because they became members while i was away at school, and i gotta tell yall i'm all about the buying stuff in bulk. i really want the largest thing of peanut butter i can find because i go through that alot at school. . .mmm i'm excited lol i'm a nerd i know

what else i'm trying avoid topics that will annoy me or upset me seeing to it that i have a head ache and have already spent the majority of the night crying.

hmm it's three thirty here but i'm still on pensacola time so to me it is like 2 30 which isn't so bad. but i am going to work with my mom tomorow so i will have to wake up early, i don't want to go but its the only solution my parents could come up with to keep my sister and i apart, seeing to it that she has the excuse that she has to stay in bed ALLLL day because of morning sickness. i hate her bleh bee-otch!!!

yeah so i think i don't feel good and am going to hit the hay now

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 04:30:50 GMT

C	Charismatic
H	Handy
R	Radiant
I	Innocent
S	Sloppy
T	Tender
I	Innocent
N	Nutty
E	Enchanting

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 04:16:13 GMT

WOW!!! LOOK I PUT A PIC!!!!
yay i love sabrina for telling me how to do it!!!

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 04:15:26 GMT

Birthdays suck

Mon, 21 Mar 2005 07:49:04 GMT

so i've decided that i don't like bdays very much, it's true the older you get the less you like them, i just didn't think that would happen until i was turning thirty.
ok i'm exatrating but i'll tell how it all went anyways

so i woke up around 9 when sabrina called me and was telling me all about her date with ian i tried not falling asleep while she was talking it wasa hard i was very tired. but yeah then i got up and she came and picked me up at and then we headed to the beach. this time minues the beers lol. it was beautiful!! it was a good day and we met up with some of the marines and they were all super nice no prospects tho just nice guys. AHHHH this one guy (actually it was ian) but yeah he decided he was going to dig a hole on the beach. and that exactly what he did. and this kid is like over 6 foot tall and he was like completely buried in this thing all you see is sand flying out od this hole. even a bum asked to take his piciture in it!!!
umm so then we left the beach and went to the baseball game that was fun we sat out in left field eating cookies and pretzels! then ian showed up and so it got weird because i felt like those two were on a date and i was just sitting there
oh well we didn't stay long. we left the game around 4 then i went straight to my dorm and then drove to tally

the traffic was horrible going over the brigde but when i got past that it was a good drive i went about 95 the whole time so i made good timing.

went to james

ok i just decided that i want to watch a movie so i'll finish this later

A Year in Review

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 09:07:23 GMT

i jsut did a very long entry and then deleted it so i'm kinda sad and i'll try to redo it lol

today is my birthday and now i am 19 years old so much has changed in one year

SOOO. . .One year ago
~one year ago i was living at home happy with my parents
~one year ago i was with a guy who worshiped the ground i walked on and bought me jewelry from Tiffanys for my birthday
~one year ago i was in high school
~one year ago i had few friends in school and relied on friends from camp
~one year ago i had a job and money to waste on shopping
~one year ago i was horribly out of shape from lack of activity
~one year ago took medicine that made me crazy
~one year ago i stayed home every night unless i was going out with my then bf
~one year ago i had really dark hair and no straightener
~one year ago i was celebrating my birthday by going to school then work then dinner with ju karen julienne my parents and caca head jason

SOOO. . . One year from then
~one year from then i am living 8 hours away from home and miss my parents
~one year from then i am single and scared for life from past relationships leaving me with the knowlegde that all guys are assholes and can't be trusted for anything but buying you drinks
~one year from then i am in college and have no clue where to go from here
~one year from then i don't talk to anyone from high school except matt and still love my friends from camp but am branching out on my own
~one year from then i have no job and rely on my bi monthly bank deposits from my dad to survive and haven't been able to just shop with out being a cheap ass
~one year from then i am still horribly out of shape but at least now i go to the gym everyday and hopefully next year will be better
~one year from then i take medicine to keep me from being crazy
~one year from then i get depressed when i stay in and try to go out as much as possible with who ever
~one year from then i will be celebrating my birthday by going to the beach, then the baseball game, then driving to tally, and having dinner with people only one of which actually cares, then going to aj's and hopefully getting nice and drunk without peter around

i feel like i've lived three lives in one year, first i was almost married, then i was in a new better relationship that i thought was the best, now i am single and get drunk as often as i can. hmmm

funny how i my life doesn't like to jsut be simple. maybe someday.

well today was fun i went to the beach with sabrina and we met up with a bunch of baseball players, it's just easier to say that then try to name them all, it was fun we sat out eating subway and drinkin miller lightonly bad thing is i think i sat in the same position for a bit too long because half of me is kinda red oh well i'll let it fade then when i come back after spring break i'll start up with the tanning bed again, this time i won't let myself get so dark that tristen has to ask if i've changed races.
my faith in guys has been completely shattered, i thought i had found an awesome guy to restore that faith i have recently lost but it turns out he just confirmed the fact that all guys are scum and are only lookin for ass even if they have to lie about it or chase whores. i sound aweful bitter.
on the plus side that cold i thought i was going to have went away so yay.
my head hurts i wasn't planning on getting drunk today it just happened that after sabrina and i both had 6 beers we needed more and raided Cody's cooler but their natti sucked nasty. oh well.
i missed my counseling session today i called ahead and said that i couldn't make it because i had to head home early the receptionist made me talk to her anyways and doc olsen just said she makes she talks to everyone who cancells to make sure everything is fine, i told her i had had a pretty ok week aside from some weird dreams but that i would see her in two weeks, i like my doctor even if she makes me talk about my family far more than i wish.

hmm what else it's about 3 oclock now and my ass is bored i took a three hour nap after the beach (i love naps when you are nice and drunk and you fall asleep so easy and you don't have any dreams) however i did have a bad head ache that still remains. bleh yeah my head hurts like hell and i still have to take my med. which will only make it worse.

so i just created a myspace well thats a lie had made it ages ago i just finially did shit to it.

ok i think i need to go to bed i really am startin to feel worse and worse

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 04:30:03 GMT

if anyone can explain how to add pics to this thing let me know because i'm lost and i just downloaded something that i thought did it but it doesn't?

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 09:56:43 GMT

i'd just like to say that it is 3 56 AM and i am still NOT tired.
but i'm going to try laying down hopefully that will help

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 09:13:44 GMT

see my pics!! go to dotphoto.com username pisceschic319 and password: salathe

so it's 3 in the morning and i'm not asleep. . suprise suprise, i'm not even kinda tired. in fact if the gym were open right now i could go for a work out. i think it's the kool-aide i drank around 230 but hey i was thursty after the burrito i had at 2 and i hadn't put any more dasani's in the frig. and i wasn't about to drink coke. so blue sugary kool aide boooo. good thing class is optional tomorow yay not that i would've gone anyways it's just comp2 and we are watching a movie and its my joke class. so i don't actually mind, now last night around this time iwas stressnig because i had 8 oclock chem this morning which sucks ass. by the way i failed to mention earlier that i found out around 12 last night that i would be having a chem test this morning. i had no clue what on, i missed thursdays class due to intoxication, and i missed tuesdays class because of UWF Day, so i missed a whole chapter and the announcing of a test, boo, it sucked, but last night i skimmed through the chapter (luckly it was a super easy chapter) and so i was able to (i think) successfully do the in class portion, and i have two weeks to do the take home part. so i'm ok.

so it's like 40 degrees outside right now according to weather.com and the high tomorow is going to be 60, now i don't really know how to gauge that in terms of bathing suit conditions, but i think i can make a fairly educated quess that IF we still go to beach i will be freezing my ass off. not fun. unless i have a hottie to warm me up!

so i'm subleasing from ju this summer, and i will have to use her name if i want to use the tanning bed or the gym or pool, now i don't know how stupid the people at boardwalk are. . .BUT i don't think i look like a juliana Carreira. mostly because i'm white and prob the furthest looking thing to a brazilian other than a red head. so hopefully they just won't ask.

it's a damn good thing i don't have a roomate. or else i might piss them off, because the room is a disaster, and i'm up at three in the morning. and plus i like getting ready for my 8 oclock class with my country music blarring and all the lights on. plus i don't like wearing clothes. i think i might know why it was so easy to get rid of heather.

i think i'm gonna work on dotphoto now.

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 04:41:41 GMT

St. Patricks day sucks ass.
so everyone decided to go to Suville tonight which wouldve been cool IF they didn't make it 21 and older only for st. pattys day. how gay is that i'm super disapointed that i'm the only one under age in my group it sucks. tomorow tho (weather permitting) i'm going to the beach it should be super fun, sabrina is kinda planning everything which is FINE with me because she's beinging the baseball team (only sabrina can get a whole team) and then it'll be us i think serina, devin, shaina, myself oh i think shaina said she was bring some marines which is FINE with me too lol those girls are great because they are bringing these guys for me :) they are little match makers. i plan on gettin shit faced to lol.
i've decided that i want a new tattoo, my mom put me in the mood because she's trying to convence my dad to let her get one, i htink it would be awesome if we could go together and get them at the same time!! i'm thinking i'm wanting a word, like i was thinking something like hope or trueth or something like that and if not that then maybe a heart to match the one on my back.

hmm what else so yay i'm looking forward to tally and orlando, and home, tally to get nice and drunken at aj's peter can NOT be around for that, but maybe he can be there for dinner, i haven't decided weither or not to call him im just a little if-y about it.

damn my room is hot as hell right now

umm so i'm thinking that i need to not think baout stayin here in pensacola because im a nut and i don't want to keep switching my mind, and i want to live at boardwalk because it's nicer than any shit holes around here, altho it is about 200 dollars more.

during spring break i'm getting pictures taken and my dad wants some in my uniform and some with me in my prom dress, since all the ones from prom are all uglied up by a certain caca head.

hmm so i've decided that it kinda sucks that i don't tlak to anyone from high school except for matt. eh oh well

YAY techn My spring break has started!! yay!
i'm in the mood for dounuts.

however i'm very disapointed in my gut right now, because i did my normal 1hr and half of excersise today and then after dinner bloop gut sticks out lol bummer

oh well

my hair is doing something crazy its time for my bangy things to get a trim once i get home thatll be taken care of i need new high lights on my roots too.

remember guys no meat tomorow!

now time for a survey that i stole from lindsey anderson so i can pass the time

1. First best friend: Andrew Stephens (from preschool in oklahoma), but then morgan
2. First car: my momish car the corrola
4. First break-up: brian howard
5. First screen name: NSyncBCutie (i was a nerd for them)
6. First self-purchased album: Aqua?
7. First funeral: never been to one
8. First pets: my cats!!
9. First piercing: ears
10. First credit card: citibank. .but techn it was sent home and i never got to see it before my dad cut it up
12. First enemy: ashley something, we had an "I hate ashley club" in fourth grade i dunno why we hated her tho
13. First big trip: umm not including with the parents or with school, i would have to say Miami

The lasts:
1. Last cigarette: bleh 9th grade
2. Last car ride: about 4 hours ago
3. Last kiss: i was told it was last wednesday but don't remember
4. Last good cry: ummm about two weeks ago i don't cry these days
5. Last library book checked out: one on the red scare sometime last semster
6. Last movie seen in theatres: The wedding date with jessie!
7. Last beverage drank: kool-aide
8. Last food consumed: french fries
9. Last crush: #14 is hott
10. Last phone call: juliana
11. Last time showered: about 20 minutes ago
12. Last shoes worn: umm my shocks when i went to the gym
13. Last item bought: banana split from sonic with sabrina
14. Last annoyance: my inablity to make up my mind
15. Last time wanting to die: i don't feel that way
16. Last time scolded: juliana when she thought i wasn't going to sublease from her

Relationships:
1. Who are your closest girl friends? juliana shannon megan (basically the girls from camp) and MOST of the girls from cheerleading
2. Do you have a boyfriend? HA thats a laugh i gave up relationships i'm about the game yo!! (jk)

Fashion:
1. Where is your favorite place to shop? Hollister
2. Any tattoos or piercing? heart on my back, and a ring in my belly

Specifics:
1. Do you do drugs? eww no
2. What kind of shampoo do you use? brillent brunett (well usually right now i have the sheer blonde stuff because my mom is sometimes absent minded and bought the wrong stuff)
3. What are you most scared of? ET
4. What are you listening to right now? everybody loves ramound
5. Where do you want to get married? at camp, or
6. How many buddies are online? 16 friends, 4 counselors and 8 campers
7. What would you change about yourself? my enablilty to make my own decisions

Favorites:
1. Color:pink
2. Food: currently rice with everything
3. Girls names: eh i dunno
4. Boys Names: Owen
5. Subjects in school: statistics at the moment
6. Animals: my cats!!
7. Sports: cheerleading

Have you ever:
1. Given anyone a bath? yeah
2. Smoked? yes
3. Bungee jumped? no
4. Gotten a speeding ticket? nope i go undetected
5. Skinny-dipped? of course
6. Been in love? yes
7. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?yeah
8. Pictured your crush naked? everytime i see him pitch!
9. Seen your crush naked? sadly no, but hopefully tomorow at the beach i'll get to see a little
10. Cried when someone died? no one has really died
11. Lied? of course
12. Fallen for your best friend? yep
13. Been rejected? i don't like to think of those times
14. Rejected someone? eck yes these days more then ever
15. Used someone? i'd like to say no
16. Done something you regret? who hasn't?

Current:
1. Clothes? fluffy Gap Bathrobe
2. Music? non
3. Make-up? none
4. Annoyance? the weather
5. Smell? sweet pea
6. Favorite artist? the man who makes the comics "The Mows"
7. Desktop picture? the mows
8. Book you're reading? The notebook
9. CD in player? Open
10. DVD in player? none
11. Color of toenails? red

Last person:
1. You touched? Keegals at the gym we hugged
2. Hugged? look above!
3. You instant messaged? juliana

Are you:
1. Understanding? sometimes to people i like
2. Open-minded? eh i'd like to think so
3. Arrogant? depends how i look at the moment
4. Insecure? depends how i look at the moment
5. Interesting? eh i have my moments
6. Hungry? always
7. Smart? ha
8. Moody? oh god yes
9. Hardworking? i try to be
10. Organized? i wish a picture of my room could be my answer
11. Healthy? healthier now then i ever have been since i go to the gym everyday!
12. Shy? depends how many drinks i've had
13. Attractive? i've been told, but then again most people don't see me in the morning
14. Bored easily? depends if i have something to fiddle with
15. Responsible? ehhh sometimes
16. Obsessed? yes with OC #14 and my cerial
17. Angry? no
18. Sad? i have med. that prevents that
19. Disappointed? only when i get my hopes up
20. Happy? sometimes
21. Hyper? sometimes
22. Trusting? sometimes too much
23. Talkative? yeah
24. Legal? yes

Whom do you want to:
1. Kill? ha i have a little hit list i don't give away
2. Slap? janna because she's being imature
3. Get high with? no one
4. Look like? pamela anderson
5. Talk to offline? anyone
6. Talk to online? everyone
7. Hang out with? all the boys im getting introduced to tomorow :)

Random:
1. In the morning I am: usually sleeping in or rushing around
2. All I need is: the gym, i'm so happy wheni work our
3. Love is: not real
4. I dream about: ex boyfriends hiring monsters to kill me, i have issues i guess

Which is better:

1. Coke or Pepsi: sweet tea
2. Flowers or candy: candy
3. Liquor or beer? liquor chased by beer

Random:
1. What do you notice first: teeth and noses
2. Last person you danced with: i was told i danced with Mcall but i don't remember that night too well
3. Worst question to ask: how many people have you slept with
4. Who makes you laugh the most? Keegals
5. Who/what makes you smile: going out with the girls and gettin drunk
6. Who gives you a funny feeling: i haven't had that funny feeling in months
7. Who do you have a crush on: half the baseball team?
8. Who has a crush on you: Mcall, some guy on the basketball team, the guy i gave my number to at the gym but then didn't answer his calls, and i dunno i've been told a couple more

Do you ever:
1. Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to instant message you: thats really sad
2. Save conversations: only if they are heated arguements i might need to defend myself with
3. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: nah
4. Wish you were younger: hell no
5. Cry because someone said something to you: not anymore i don't cry for anyone it's physically impossible

Number:
1. Of times I have had my heart broken: 2
2. Of hearts I have broken: 1
3. Of guys I've kissed: oh geeze
4. Of girls I've kissed: i plead the fifth
5. Of continents I have lived in: 3 military yo!
6. Of tight friends: ummm i dunno alot i guess
7. Of CDs I own: however many came in the pack of burnable ones i got
8. Of scars on body:tons camp leaves you torn up

Thu, 17 Mar 2005 06:17:56 GMT

SOOO i've never been more stressed in my LIFE!!! and i've never needed to talk to ju more in soooo long, but shes out tonight and i can't get ahold of her.
so here's my deliema ok,
i think i might want to stay in pensacola at UWF for another year.
now it's been on my mind now for about a week or so, and i don't know if it's just last minute jitters of leaving or if it's just my mind playing tricks or if it's for real. thats why i need ju she is right about everything in my life and i need to tell me what to do
(seriously is right about EVERYTHING in my life. . .Jason, UWF (at first), Peter, getting help, EVERYTHIGN and thats not including the day to day stuff)
so yeah need to talk to her.
but here is why i'm changing my mind, if i stay at UWF, then i will definitly have a spot on the squad and i would be a major role in it, cheerleading is getting funded 6,000 dollars next year so we are getting mats and new uniforms, Tri-delta is coming to UWF, i've made new friends that are super cool, cheaper living conditions so less stress on my parents, no community college, no model like fsu girls to comepete with (i'm comparatively hott here. . .), no hassle of seeing an ex (well until i get an ex here i guess) more things to get involved in easier, and. . .i would be able to work at camp

hmmm
ok so here is tcc reason, i want to wind up at fsu, my friends are there, better job oppertunities (even tho sabrina said she could get me a job as a shot girl with milller), bigger city. . . . . .friends??
man it's not looking good, but i hate making all these plans and stuff only for me maybe to not go through with them!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!
JUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not fun i'm about to cry this stresses me SOOOOO much

i really want to call home, but it's 1 oclock there
i already discussed this with my mom she said they will support whatever i want. . .but right now i don't know what i want.

the last time i felt like this was when i was engaged to jason, and i was having my doubts and i couldn't get it out of my head. Maybe i had my OCD then too, because once i get one idea in my head i can't get it out i just don't want to do something i regret, what if i go to tcc and then i don't even get into fsu, what would be the next step for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! uhhhhhhh
i'm sweating bad i'm sick so it's like the cold sweat because i'm freezing.
i want to cry
Samantha and leeanne want me to take devins room when she graduates. but i don't think i would want to live with them. . . .they party WAYYYY to much it'd be a bad influence. i wonder what my parents would think if they moved me in and saw their kitchen. . . .it's FULL FULL FULL of liquior bottles.

AHHHHH

so anyways in recent news....
my parents are going to make godmother of my sisters baby that they are adopting, i always thought that my family belonged on springer. . .but yes they say that if something were to happen to them they would rather i get the child then my sister because there is no way she would be able to take care of it. thats sad to me

for the first time the other i was feeling sorry for my sister, but then talking to my mom on the phone. . . hearing how she doesn't do anything, literaly just sits around ALLL day doesn't work doesn't go to school, doesn't even help pick up after herself. like i mean if you aren't doing anythign you can at least clean up after yourself. my mom was like well she's really heavey into the morning sickness phase, and i was like well some woman have to freakin work on their feet everyday while they are pregant!!! thats no excuse. so those feelings of reaching out were short lived i guess because i'm feeling the hatred again for her lazy ass making my parents suffer. and turning her problem into everyones, and before it only indirectly effected me. UNTIL my parents told me i would be gardian if something happens to them, i'd say that effects me pretty damn directly!!!

so if i go to uwf for another year, then i will be able to go back to camp. which would make me happy, but then again maybe i would just stick around here?! i dunno what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOooOOoooOOoOOO

you know who i miss?
fran, i miss her i think i will try to find her she was such a good friend i need her help too. i miss my booboo!!
i'm out for now, it might be a long night

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 04:58:00 GMT

hmmm so janna remains mad at me and it doesn't matter that the hotty baseball player likes me because she won't even talk to me. UGH she acting childish

anyways so tomorow i get to go to tallahassee. . . AT 5:15 in the morning!!! booo and thats just when i have to meet at the gym i have to be pretty. which means an hour of hair and makeup lol thats sad.

but yeah i get to meet a bunch of politicans!! i'm excited i hope it isn't freezing because i have to be in uniform all day which will be chilly!!

hmm what else i went to the gym twice today because the first time i went i didn't do the tred mill. so i went back a little while later and did some more ab work and then the tred mill.

i hope i don't have problems sleeping tonight. . .however i'm sure i will. bleh

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 08:33:32 GMT

So i just found janna is mad at me. . .but i dont' quite know how to act. . .because well the reason she's mad makes me happy. to make more sense without going too far into detail but the guy she likes is the guy i just met and apperently he asked her for MY number, and that made her mad. . ..however i am thrilled!! he's super sweet and super hott and he's such a good christian and baseball player and UH! i hope she doesn't get too mad when i want to see him lol!!

it's 230 and i can't sleep
suprise suprise

Sun, 13 Mar 2005 22:52:45 GMT

Yeah today has suprisingly been a pretty productive day i think. . .
i woke up suprisingly early compaired to the time i was able to fall asleep.
i did some cleaning then i hit the gym, i meet up with serena katie and will, a bunch more were suppose to come but suprise suprise their lazy asses didn't get up, this is suppose to replace our sunday afternoon practices but it just so happens i go everyday anyways so i don't mind, in exciting new our shoes came in. . .to bad they are only about a semster and a half late!!! and the season is over!! yes shoes i may never need again!! oh well when i try out for tcc at least i'll have clean shoes. . .just tryin to find a bright side
hmmm what else oh i went to albertsons and made a lard ass of myself, i bought dounuts and bagals and cream cheese, BUT i also got one of those fruit platters, i had no reason to buy that i have plenty of food, and i'm going on spring break in 5 days anyways.
hmm what else oh i just finished writting a paper for english it was a short assignment and very informal but it was about a play we watched that everyone slept through, Waiting for Godot. if anyone has heard of it you know how it is and how easy it is to get completley lost and thus making it hard to write anything about it!! but i managed and actually got it done in a timely fashion.
no i have some lit class work to do but i'm takin a break from work. because i also have to finish my chem test and do some statistics homework YAY fun!! jk i don't mind really i dunno why but i'm in a working mood if i hadn't already been to the gym i'd go again because i always get in a productive mood.

hmmm so i'm kinda almost feeling bummed about my bday i just feel like it's going as the most unnoticed holiday of the year. . . just kidding it isn't a holiday it just seems like no one really cares, like the people who matter you know. oh well i'll live i guess.
however i am looking forward to orlando with karen! it should be loads of fun
then getting home, you know whats freaky, i think everything that doc olsen and i have been talking about has been helping. because the first time in like 10 years i feel like reaching out to my sister, i see spring break being a good time for that, seeing to it that she is home everyday doing NOTHING, shit she is makin eing pregnant not seem so horrible according to my mom she gets to sleep till 3 every after noon so she can sleep through morning sickness. damn. tisk tisk oh well

i knida want to invite peter to dinner for my birthday, i just feel like i would be ok with it and i kinda miss him as a person. . . .kinda, i guess i'll have to see how this week goes, i notice when i'm having a good week or couple of days i think of him in a friendly light and i'm ok with the separation and even see it as a good thing, however if i've been in those moods and in kinda a funk then it's not so fun and i get kinda sad and thats when i wouldn't want him around. oh well like i said

i think thats my phrase. . .oh well . . .i say that for everything.

tell me why my kitty cat and puppy dog everday calender on todays picture it shows a puppy and a kitten laying together and then the caption it
" thats the last we ever count on the Swansons for a foursome!"
seriously what the heck is with that?! it's a little creepy and kinda sexual for the cute puppy and kitten being shown!! geeze.

ok i think i'm gonna get started on reading my assignment for lit class because i have to write a response on it

does anyone know if desperate housewives comes on tonight?!